Avoid at all Cost?

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Growing up, I sometimes attended a church in my hometown. But once I reached the age when children often rebel, I stopped going altogether. 

 

My Dad owned a convenience store and occasionally I’d see the preacher pull into the parking lot. Coming face-to-face with him meant having a conversation I didn’t care to have, so I avoided him at all cost. I’d run back into the house until he left. But avoiding him came at the cost of something greater: my spiritual well-being. 

 

There might be people you try to avoid at all cost, including the toxic people we discussed last week. Keeping them at arm’s length is one thing, but should we avoid them at all cost?  

 

This raises two questions. What about Christians with toxic behavior: Shouldn’t we help them grow in Christ rather than just avoid them? And what about those outside the church: Rather than avoid them, shouldn’t we try to lead them to the gospel?

 

Jesus had different levels of involvement in His relationships. He had the twelve (Matt. 10:1), was especially close to Peter, James, and John (Matt. 17:1), and interacted with the judgmental, manipulative religious leaders who opposed Him (Matt. 23:1-13). Jesus didn’t avoid difficult people because something greater was at stake: God’s will and their spiritual well-being. 

 

Neither can we. We have a responsibility to share the gospel with those outside Christ (Mk. 16:15-16), admonish fellow Christians (Rom. 15:14), and address sins against us when necessary (Matt. 18:15-17). Avoidance cannot become an excuse for neglecting these responsibilities.

 

So we must carefully consider our degree of involvement. First, we should pursue peace with all men (Rom. 12:17–19), while protecting our spiritual well-being from people threatening it (1 Cor. 15:33). We must also wisely invest our God-given time in those God brings into our circle of influence (Eph. 5:16). This balance may require keeping some people at arm’s length without avoiding them altogether. 

 

When it comes to the people we ordinarily encounter in life, keeping some at arm’s length to maintain relational peace and harmony may be necessary. But avoiding them at all cost comes at the expense of something greater: carrying out the will of God and their spiritual well-being. After all, “You may be the only Bible some person ever reads.” —William Toms. So, keep them at arm’s length when necessary, but don’t avoid them at all cost.

 

Written by Craig Ressler